5 Signs Your Student Might Be Struggling with Anxiety—and How You Can Help Without Turning Into a Helicopter Parent

Parenting a teenager? Congratulations, you're officially the CEO of juggling a million things while trying to figure out whether that eye roll means "I hate math" or "I’m anxious about life."

We all know school is stressful, but when your student’s stress starts looking more like full-blown anxiety, or maybe you’re just not sure what it looks like, it’s easy to feel lost about how to help. You’re spinning your wheels trying to figure out, is this normal? Is this just being a teen?

Anxiety doesn’t come with a neon sign, unfortunately. But it does have some pretty telling signs if you know what to look for. Here are five ways anxiety might be showing up in your student—and some tips on how to tackle it head-on, without losing your cool (or your sanity).

1. Suddenly, School is a No-Go

Remember when your kid used to kind of enjoy school or at least didn’t hate it? If now they’re making every excuse in the book to skip class or bail on social events, it might be more than just senioritis or the curse of algebra. Anxiety can turn normal, everyday activities into overwhelming mountains to climb.

Parent Tip: Start a conversation without sounding like the "lecture parent." Try something like, “I’ve noticed you’re avoiding school a lot lately. What’s up?” Simple, non-threatening, and leaves the door open for them to talk. You’d be surprised what a little nudge can do.

2. Perfectionism Gone Wild

Sure, it’s great that your kid wants to do well, but if they’re falling apart over a 92% or spending three hours redoing an already good project, anxiety may be driving that perfectionism. Fear of failure can paralyze students and push them to unrealistic standards.

Parent Tip: Bring the real talk. Share how you have flopped in life and survived (bonus points if it’s funny or embarrassing). Remind them that progress matters more than perfection, and mistakes are just part of the journey—like the time you accidentally sent an email to the wrong "John" at work.

3. Mystery Aches and Pains

You’re about to give a TED Talk on the wonders of hydration because your kid has had a headache again. But before you diagnose them with an allergy to homework, know that anxiety often shows up as physical complaints—headaches, stomachaches, random aches that seem to have no cause.

Parent Tip: Yep, definitely check in with the doctor just to be safe, but if there’s no physical explanation, it’s time to dig deeper. Help them find ways to chill out: get outside, engage in a non-pressure social situation, or even just letting them crash on the couch binge watching their favorite show for a bit.

4. Restless Nights and Zombie Days

Is your student becoming a nighttime philosopher, lying awake wondering what the future holds, while you’re wondering how much caffeine it takes to keep them going? Anxiety loves to keep people up at night—making sleep a near impossible dream.

Parent Tip: Bedtime routines aren’t just for toddlers. Suggest some nighttime wind-down activities—reading, relaxing music, or maybe a phone break (we all know TikTok isn't helping). A little relaxation can go a long way toward better sleep—and less grumpiness in the morning.

5. Worrying Like It’s a Full-Time Job

If your child is constantly asking “What if…?”—as in “What if I fail this test and never get into college and end up living in your basement forever?”—they might be caught in the anxiety loop. Anxiety is a master at turning minor worries into full-blown catastrophes in the blink of an eye.

Parent Tip: Help them question their thoughts. Get them to ask, “Okay, but what’s the realistic chance of that happening?” Sometimes, just breaking the cycle of worry is enough to get some perspective. And remind them that no matter what happens, your basement isn’t that bad.

How You Can Help (Without Turning Into a Helicopter Parent)

Look, it’s hard seeing your student struggle with anxiety, and you probably don’t have all the answers (newsflash: no parent does). The key is creating a space where your student feels safe to talk about their worries. You don’t need to fix everything, but you can listen, offer support, and—if needed—look into professional resources.

A Student Performance Advisor might be right for your student. Want to learn more? Schedule your FREE Consult Call HERE.

Parenting is a wild ride, but you’ve got this. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.

Cheering you on!

Lani

P.S. Wondering how to start the conversation? Check out the FREE Guide: 5 Questions to Ask Your Student Over Dinner HERE.