Freedom

For most of my life, I’ve been a pretty A-okay upstanding citizen. I’ve never done anything crazy enough to warrant a ride in the back of a police cruiser with those all too familiar red and blue lights flashing. Although, come to think of it, I did have a run in with the sheriff in second grade after getting tangled up with some troubled youth. But, that’s a story for another day.

Anyhow, in the interest of full disclosure, my upstanding citizen badge got a little crooked in the first grade. That’s when I cheated on a spelling test. The word was Hawaiian, a word I probably couldn’t even correctly spell to this day without the use of spell-check.

In my first-grade classroom, we used cardboard dividers on our desk tops to avert wandering eyes, which didn’t apparently help when those wandering eyes belonged to ourselves. I had, ever so lightly in pencil, written the word near the bottom of my divider. Not a proud moment for my 7-year-old self.

For those of you wondering why in the world Hawaiian was a first-grade spelling word: The advanced spellers (I use that term very loosely; I still can’t spell to save my life.) were given the opportunity to choose their own spelling lists one week, and, as we were choosing our lists, there was a Hawaiian Punch bottle sitting on the table in front of me. That’s why I choose the word. It was just there in front of me. I didn’t even like Hawaiian Punch. I had brought this difficulty upon myself.

The knowledge of my first-grade cheating antics and deceit haunted me for years. Literally. My mind wasn’t free; it was guilt-ridden.

While this might seem like a trivial example, all too often, we don’t even realize we’re living in bondage. Especially when that’s the world we’ve been raised in. We accept without question the norms around us or the familiar tapes our mind has played on repeat. Until, one day, we start questioning the very foundations of what we’ve been told is truth.

We start asking questions, stretching our muscles, trying to figure out how much freedom we really do have. What boundaries has society placed on us? What have we placed on ourselves? How has our mind been telling us lies? Or have our past choices kept us from stepping into freedom?

The truth? The door of the jail cell has already been flung open. The price for your freedom has already been paid in full. Your job? To walk out of that jail cell with your head held high.

If you’re waiting for someone to give you permission to walk out, you’ve already been given all of the permission you’ll ever need. You don’t need the permission or validation from those around you, no matter how well meaning they may seem.

So, what’s keeping you in shackles? What’s preventing you from walking out of that jail cell?

Just for the record, I apologized and confessed to my first-grade teacher, Ms. Windler, at some point during my college years. Thankfully, Ms. Windler was incredibly gracious and stated that she was confident the outcome of that test hadn’t hindered me passing or not passing first grade. [Insert a sigh of relief!]

Are you feeling stuck in some aspect of your life? Are you looking for additional support in stepping further into your freedom journey? If so, check out Freedom Sessions here.

Be free,

Lani